- sarah: a pack of 10 make up brushes - nearly $100
- me: wtf why are make up brushes so expensive, are they made of leprachaun tail hairs???
- sarah: what do they even have tails
- me: no
- that's why they're so expensive
Me: Dean, weren’t you paying attention?
Dean: I’m sorry, I don’t have enough money to pay attention.
And my teacher asked, “Okay, if a guy in a club tries to sell you this little white pill for $5, what would you do? Would you take it?” The class shakes their heads while saying “No.”
But my friend Mohammad answered, “I only would if I could bargain it for $3.”
Me: Have you met that girl from Letters and Numbers?
(We were at the university she attends)
Dean: She’s on my to-do list.
Me: You mean… meeting her is on your to-do list or… just her?
Me: GET OFF THE COMPUTER.
Brittany: I SWEAR TO GOD I AM!
[a couple of minutes later]
Brittany: Ugh, there’s nothing good on Tum— uh, I mean… not the computer…
yeah nice save bro