• sarah: a pack of 10 make up brushes - nearly $100
  • me: wtf why are make up brushes so expensive, are they made of leprachaun tail hairs???
  • sarah: what do they even have tails
  • me: no
  • that's why they're so expensive

Tagged as: liendooponi qotd

"I can’t fall in love yet, I’m only 16."
— Asking Jan if he’s in love with my friend

Tagged as: qotd

During English,

Sir: Hey, did you guys hear about that actress that got stabbed the other day?
Us: WHO?!
Sir: I don’t know… it was “Reese” something….
Student: Reese Witherspoon?
Sir: No, with a knife.

"Whitney Houston sent me some roses the other day, but they were dead when they got here."
— My careers advisor (via breakfastatbrittanys)

(Source: charliesanus)

Tagged as: mr ford gmh qotd

My friend, Dean.

Me: Dean, weren’t you paying attention?
Dean: I’m sorry, I don’t have enough money to pay attention.

Tagged as: qotd

"See ya later, menstruator."
— Eddy

Tagged as: qotd


Tyler: What does “swag” even mean?
Brittany: Something We Asians Have. OHHHHHH!!!
[puts hand up for hi-five, nobody does]
Tyler: That would be SWAH.
Brittany: ….Oh. 

We were learning about drugs and alcohol today,

And my teacher asked, “Okay, if a guy in a club tries to sell you this little white pill for $5, what would you do? Would you take it?” The class shakes their heads while saying “No.”

But my friend Mohammad answered, “I only would if I could bargain it for $3.”

Tagged as: qotd

Talking to my friend about that hot chick on Letters and Numbers.

Me: Have you met that girl from Letters and Numbers?
(We were at the university she attends)
Dean: She’s on my to-do list.
Me: You mean… meeting her is on your to-do list or… just her?
Dean: Both.

Tagged as: qotd

Me yelling at Brittany to get off Tumblr while I was on the phone with her.

Brittany: I SWEAR TO GOD I AM!
[a couple of minutes later]
Brittany: Ugh, there’s nothing good on Tum— uh, I mean… not the computer…

yeah nice save bro 

Tagged as: qotd

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Themed by: Hunson